My rating: 4 of 5 stars
“The anorectic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh, and, by association, the realm of emotions.”
----Marya Hornbacher, an American author
Meg Haston, an American YA author, pens a very personal story inspired from her own life, Paperweight that narrates the story of a young teenager, suffering from an eating disorder, recovering from the problem to have a normal life in a treatment center which is closer to hell. This is her story and the story that tells us how she is fighting everyday against her own illness as well as her past ghosts all alone.
Synopsis:
Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. In her body. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert.
Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoid.
Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment. But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long. There are only twenty-seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death—the death she caused. And if Stevie gets her way, there are only twenty-seven days until she too will end her life.
In this emotionally haunting and beautifully written young adult debut, Meg Haston delves into the devastating impact of trauma and loss, while posing the question: Why are some consumed by their illness while others embark on a path toward recovery?
Stevie is devastated for life with so many losses- firstly, her mother left her and her brother, Josh, then her brother, Josh, dies in an accident for which Stevie blames herself. Then there is her best friend, Eden, for whom she has lots of feelings for but Eden manipulated Josh for her benefit, thus creating a wall between herself and Stevie. Among all these problems, Stevie became depressed while coping with the loss of her own brother, which forces her to make a plan to kill herself on the day of her brother's anniversary. Stevie is also facing an eating disorder, where her own body started making her feel with disgust. For recovery, her father admits her to a treatment center and her plan to kill herself gets messed up because the treatment center is forcing her to eat and keeps an eye on her activities from eating to shitting like a hawk. Will she be successful in her plans? Will she reach her target weight while blindly cheating the day care and food plans crafted out especially for her recovery?
What Stevie wants is control- the type of control you want it when things go out of control, you want that control even if you push all the limits and kill yourself. Stevie's life is a mess and totally beyond her control, and the rehab thing is not doing any good to her plans over control. Guilt, anger, pain made the seventeen year old's mind go into a mission to take control of her body.
The story sways between Stevie's past and her present days in the rehab, and since the story is told from Stevie's POV, it lets the readers see through the deepest and darkest core of her mind. Although the past is the narration of already happened events recollected from Stevie's memories, which had a bit of loose ends and yeah the author might have tried to relate her reason to Stevie's pain, but somehow loose ends were left everywhere on it's wake, especially what really happens between Stevie and her best friend, Eden, then the reason behind why Stevie's mom abandoned her family on the first place.
Some reviewers have claimed to say that Stevie has gone through transformation, but honestly I did not feel that at all. Stevie opens up angry and ends up sort of pissed off with her life. The writing is good and strong and the prose is layered with deep emotions, some can be bit dark and graphic and can somehow instigate negative feelings like suicidal or whatever, among young teenagers while reading the book. Yes, while reading I realized the voice of Stevie is told from someone who knows what happens when you're facing an eating disorder, I mean very original and easy to connect with the pain. No I was lucky enough that I never went through such a tragic phase, but I could still somehow feel Stevie's mental trauma that is haunting her, clawing at her bare skin.
The author really knows how to draw in the readers' sympathy for her main character. The main character, flawed, yet portrayed with lots of realism and sensitivity as well as compassion. Stevie's demeanor is like any other 17 year old going through troubles in family as well as love life. Stevie is brave yet very weak from the inside, her fight against herself pulls me into the story like a moth looking for a flicker of light in the darkness.
The supporting cast yet once again portrayed brilliantly but leave the story without a clue or without any closure. Like for example, Stevie's friend from rehab, Ashely, whom the author have sketched with lots of love and reality and pain, yet her existence in the story fell short without the depth in her characterization.
Stevie's Shrink, whom she actually called The Shrink, Anna, is featured beautifully, since she is the only adult monitoring Stevie while in the rehab. Yeah no doubt their bond started off too weak, which then transforms into something not that strong but understandable. Stevie and Ann, both were fighting their own battles and honestly, Anna's approach towards Stevie's well being is really good, not with a hard push but with a gentle push.
Family issues, relationships (lesbian), undying bonds of friendships, growing trust are blend in so perfectly into the story that makes it one hell of an emotional as well as enlightening roller-coaster ride and is perfect read for the summers. I urge every parent and teenagers to read it once to realize what happens when life actually throws lemons at you and with a mind so young and so inexperienced, how a teenager deals with those lemons.
Verdict: This book will thoroughly appeal to the YA readers.
Courtesy: Thanks a lot to the publishers from Hot Key Books, for giving me an opportunity to read and review this book.
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Author Info:
Meg Haston is both a survivor and a mental health counselor. Meg first conceived of PAPERWEIGHT when she spent time in a treatment center for disordered eating in Arizona. Like her character Stevie, she could bring nothing but a small suitcase of clothes-no books, no phone, no computer. But she was allowed to write. In-between group meals and individual sessions, Stevie was born into the pages of Meg's journal.
Meg now practices at a women's clinic and a school in Florida, and has worked in conjunction with Projection HEAL (Help to Eat, Accept, and Live), spreading awareness about eating disorders and the recovery process. She is also a regular contributor to gURL.com, where her video series, 'How to Deal with Meg Haston', addresses mental and emotional health concerns for adolescent girls. Meg is also the author of the middle grade series HOW TO ROCK... which inspired a Nickelodeon TV spin-off.
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So glad you loved this one! I think the cover is gorgeous. I also know you recommended this one to me as well. I actually have a copy of this, so it is just a matter of time before I read it.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's nice, looking forward in reading your review. Thanks a lot! :-)
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